I’m referring to the ‘past’ although not as you would think, with so many quotes and posts over the internet making it sound like a simple process. Well, I’m writing this post for people like myself that don’t see it as such an effortless matter. Often being referred to as merely; ‘realize what you’re doing, and just stop’. When these situations in the past are involving people very ‘near and dear’ to you, it is not that straightforward nor uncomplicated. Also those quotes about ‘leaving people behind / forever’ seems to be pertaining to mere acquaintances and they aren’t good enough to ‘be in’ your life; therefore ‘get them out of your life’ per se. So this is certainly not an option for my situation usually good friends are not that easy to find, not forgetting that everyone has been brought up differently, so a little ‘bending’ like the Lao Tzu quote below is necessary.
This is a nice quote which is leaning more towards my feeling about ‘letting go’ for example: “In the end, only three things matter: how much you have loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you”. Until a better time arises.. 🙂 of course. Another form of the quote: “In the end these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go? Just keep in mind, in my point of view; it’s also not important ‘how fast you let go’.. Often times the reason it takes so long, is that person is extremely important to you”.
Recently I had found out something, after years of ‘skirting’ around an issue for fear of an argument, in which once again we won’t speak for a while. I was able to bring up a situation with the ‘said person in my life’… and it finally came to light that she honestly saw no wrong in her actions!! Well, believe it or not, this actually has helped me. Therefore, I’m sharing my thoughts on the angle of never give up on something that has somewhat ‘planted itself’ in your memory… seemingly forever. If ever a situation comes along to bring up the ‘situation’ that is niggling you (even perhaps for years on end) keep trying, if like my situation they ‘keep blowing up’ at you when you try and discuss the situation, leave it for a time when they are going to actually ‘talk it through’ with you… Mind you I only really tried it 3 or so times in the last four years with her. Not an option to leave her out of my life, as she’s a good friend, also as my mother use to say: “Don’t let the sun go down with an unresolved argument”… I’ll just add ‘forever’ at the end 🙂 As ignoring a situation, does not make it go away.
Don’t we all wish that we had covered topics in the past with the people who mean the most to us? When it becomes too late, or the friendship dwindles to a point that to recover that closeness seems like too much work. As in my prior posting I must learn to ‘live it’.. As also the title states, we are all so used to that phrase but how many of us try to concentrate on the use of it in our lives?
When the ‘moment is gone’ we certainly cannot get it back. I love the idea of something I used in my career a lot, where it is to become a better ‘listener’ ~ in every moment.. Which, along with ‘taking a breath’ to fully consider ‘the moment’ you see it may be that we are missing the interpretation of that moment from the other person’s point of view.
Too many times we find out much later that it is the bigger ‘picture’ surrounding ‘a moment’, that we had missed.
“Let differences between you and your friends exist, as long as they don’t extinguish the flame of unity”.