Don’t we all wish that we had covered topics in the past with the people who mean the most to us? When it becomes too late, or the friendship dwindles to a point that to recover that closeness seems like too much work. As in my prior posting I must learn to ‘live it’.. As also the title states, we are all so used to that phrase but how many of us try to concentrate on the use of it in our lives?
When the ‘moment is gone’ we certainly cannot get it back. I love the idea of something I used in my career a lot, where it is to become a better ‘listener’ ~ in every moment.. Which, along with ‘taking a breath’ to fully consider ‘the moment’ you see it may be that we are missing the interpretation of that moment from the other person’s point of view.
Too many times we find out much later that it is the bigger ‘picture’ surrounding ‘a moment’, that we had missed.
“Let differences between you and your friends exist, as long as they don’t extinguish the flame of unity”.
Since I have quite a few blogs, I’m going to ‘stick to my tagline’: which really surmounts to nothing more than being more flexible on this one.. A note on that, with my other blogs I also tend to keep my thoughts to a minimum, merely because the aforementioned blogs are more for information collating and sharing my favorite topics, music etc…
Choices, which I was referring to in my last post, I believe also that as the decades show through history, we definitely have too many of them.
Then there’s the illusion of ‘choice’ ~ 100’s of television channels with nothing on you want to watch. If you have been brought up with far less of these, it’s often harder to face this supposed plethora. So does choice / decision dilemma extend to all parts of our lives now..? Choosing relationships perhaps..
Do some think;
“there’s so much out there this person will suit me fine.. for now, maybe even long term… I’ve been looking a while…” ad nauseam
Do we choose people who will accept our controlled story? Do we choose people who will accept and value us as ‘all we are’, letting us be per say, ‘ourselves’. Does the higher the risk mean the more opportunity for growth?
I seriously get confused with some relationships, where I know that one or the other of the partnership is quite obviously a pretense of what is ‘gleaming’ out of every pore in their body (of course these are people I know..) and conversation is a little too fake with their ‘chosen’.. I find this more than a little sad..
Sometimes we are drawn to people who will force us into a risk zone: this ‘zone’ maybe one that makes us ‘see and accept ourselves’ more than we are used to. One of the attractions of passion and romance is that they have the potential to take us further, withe a higher excitement level, than a companion might. It may even explain some of our attraction to people who are “dangerous”.. These decisions are both intuitive and conscious; head to heart.
Then there’s the idea of friends with benefits.. well has that truly worked for a great number of people? I would say not in the long term for the ‘friendship’.. for either sex.
There are no single victims in long~term relationships; if you examine what may look like a victim, you generally find collusion. Both parties are keeping something going; ex: he may be sleeping around and she may be turning a blind eye.
Choosing relationships opens some possibilities and closes others. The question is whether you are choosing the correct possibilities that are how you define yourself and what you are looking for in the long and short term, because really both matter!